I’m unhappy. For the first time in a really long time, I feel authentic sadness. I’m trying my best not to be so melodramatic about the things happening to me lately, but really, when all is shaken, when all is in danger of absolute obliteration, what is there left to hold on to? What is there to feel but restlessness? I loathe the fact that everything changes. No matter how hard I cling on to something, I really can’t force it to remain as it is, for everything is transitory. Indeed, the only thing that’s constant in the world is change. It was foolish of me to think that you’d be an exception to that. And that I’m also an exception to that. I absolutely don’t want to feel like this anymore, I wanna be happy (Or actually no, I just want things to go back to normal). But happiness comes mostly from one’s ability to compromise. For the past couple of weeks, I have failed to compromise with everything. Especially with your expectations. And you’ve failed to compromise with mine as well. What’s making it worse is that, I don’t understand your side of the story. Is it wrong for me to want something more for a change? I know it seems like I’m climbing down the walls I have desperately built, and making a run for it. But what you might see as a surrender, I call a leap of faith. I don’t see what’s wrong with that, but if you do, PLEASE enlighten me. This is me, failing yet again to learn how to make do with the things I have and the things that come my way. This is me, bracing myself for heartbreak. But for now, I’ll do what I do best. Suck it in all in and smile.

Overthinking as usual, 

Tinne..

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Philippines: #1forfun. Story here.

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